𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐔𝐬 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄𝙩’𝙨 𝙒𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙃𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙃𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝘾𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚 𝘾𝙪𝙥
- Dr. Natanya Wachtel
- Jun 1
- 3 min read

We are so addicted to pretending we’re okay.
Even in the middle of a breakdown, we’ll slap on a “positive vibes only” sticker and call it healing.
But what if the thing that actually saved us wasn’t motivational at all?
What if it was disappointment?
Specifically—the kind printed on a coffee cup that says:
“You’re not late—you’re just always disappointing.”
Enter Dave Tarnowski.
The introvert prophet behind Disappointing Affirmations—the viral, brilliant, bitterly funny brand that lets you laugh and wince at the same time.
Millions of people follow Dave’s digital confessions. He writes what your inner voice would say if it had the balls and the bandwidth.
I’ve seen it happen in real time: a friend in crisis scrolling silently, eyes glassy, and suddenly—crack. They snort. They forward.
The caption?
“You are doing your best, and honestly, it’s embarrassing.”
Somehow, that hurts less than being told to “just believe in yourself.”
Because Dave knows: when you’re in it, you don’t want a pep talk. You want someone who’s been there. Someone who gets it.
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I first interviewed Dave at Bravery Studios on a gray, rainy morning.
He doesn’t do a lot of press. Doesn’t do small talk. Definitely doesn’t do fluff.
But what he does do—exceptionally—is show up with sharp insight wrapped in self-deprecating humor.
You might think Disappointing Affirmations is just a meme account.
But it’s a Trojan horse.
It delivers profound truths through sarcasm—because sometimes that’s the only language people trust.
Behind every joke is something darker, older, and deeply real.
A childhood moment. A family dynamic. A perfectionist wound dressed up as a joke.
We talked about all of it.
How “Where’s the other two points?” turned into a lifelong narrative of never being enough.
How the beautiful nature photos he pairs with soul-slaps aren’t just aesthetic—they’re oxygen.
And now, we’re making it official.
Dave is joining me as a collaborator on my upcoming book, Talk Dirty to Your Brain.
Because if I’m going to write a book that reprograms your inner dialogue, I want the interruptions to sound like him.
Between chapters, his affirmations will break the tension and say what we’re all thinking:
“Try your best. It won’t be good enough, but still. Try.”
That’s the kind of honesty that lands.
That rewires.
That sticks.
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Right now, Dave’s voice is literally everywhere.
He’s part of the Shot of Levity campaign, splashing his affirmations across 5,000 limited-edition coffee sleeves at some of NYC’s most iconic shops—Café Grumpy, The Bean, and Petey’s World.
He’s turning sarcasm into street art.
Therapy into public consumption.
Mental health into something you actually want to talk about over espresso.
And it’s working.
Because for millions of people, Dave is a mirror.
Not the kind you pose in front of—the kind you accidentally catch yourself in when you’re falling apart.
And it says:
“You’re not the only one. You’re just the only one being honest about it.”
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I believe in Dave’s voice so deeply, I asked him to co-create with me.
Not just for the memes.
For the mission.
Because Talk Dirty to Your Brain isn’t about self-improvement. It’s about self-actualization.
It’s about burning the scripts that told you to shrink, smile, and self-abandon in the name of “positivity.”
It’s about reclaiming your power through language that sounds like you—not your therapist.
And Dave?
He’s fluent in the dialect of disillusionment.
But make no mistake—there’s love in it.
There’s safety in the humor.
There’s depth in the disappointment.
Because underneath it all is someone telling you the truth you’ve been too exhausted to say out loud:
You’re still here. And that’s enough
This space is for the unpolished.
Email me. DM me. Tell me what’s behind your mirror.
You just might be next.
Backgrounders:
FYI: My book: Talk dirty to your brain background
Talk Dirty to Your Brain is my upcoming behavioral-science-based book that rewires how we speak to ourselves but shares it in everyday language.
It’s about stripping away the fake positivity and weaponized wellness that’s flooded self-help and replacing it with truth-telling that’s grounded in science, transformation, and humor.
It’s raw, relatable, and irreverent—but backed by real psychology, emotional patterning, and neural rewiring. It’s not about toxic positivity.
It’s about using real, resonant language to shift identity and emotional behavior in ways that last.
The book is layered with stories, insight, and a disruptive voice that speaks directly to the subconscious.
And Dave Tarnowski is joining me as a collaborator by providing his signature Disappointing Affirmations between chapters—serving as the darkly funny antidote to the fake motivation so many people have been force-fed.
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