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- Dr. Natanya Wachtel

- Jun 1, 2025
- 3 min read

We are so addicted to pretending weβre okay.
Even in the middle of a breakdown, weβll slap on a βpositive vibes onlyβ sticker and call it healing.
But what if the thing that actually saved us wasnβt motivational at all?
What if it was disappointment?
Specificallyβthe kind printed on a coffee cup that says:
βYouβre not lateβyouβre just always disappointing.β
Enter Dave Tarnowski.
The introvert prophet behind Disappointing Affirmationsβthe viral, brilliant, bitterly funny brand that lets you laugh and wince at the same time.
Millions of people follow Daveβs digital confessions. He writes what your inner voice would say if it had the balls and the bandwidth.
Iβve seen it happen in real time: a friend in crisis scrolling silently, eyes glassy, and suddenlyβcrack. They snort. They forward.
The caption?
βYou are doing your best, and honestly, itβs embarrassing.β
Somehow, that hurts less than being told to βjust believe in yourself.β
Because Dave knows: when youβre in it, you donβt want a pep talk. You want someone whoβs been there. Someone who gets it.
βΈ»
I first interviewed Dave at Bravery Studios on a gray, rainy morning.
He doesnβt do a lot of press. Doesnβt do small talk. Definitely doesnβt do fluff.
But what he does doβexceptionallyβis show up with sharp insight wrapped in self-deprecating humor.
You might think Disappointing Affirmations is just a meme account.
But itβs a Trojan horse.
It delivers profound truths through sarcasmβbecause sometimes thatβs the only language people trust.
Behind every joke is something darker, older, and deeply real.
A childhood moment. A family dynamic. A perfectionist wound dressed up as a joke.
We talked about all of it.
How βWhereβs the other two points?β turned into a lifelong narrative of never being enough.
How the beautiful nature photos he pairs with soul-slaps arenβt just aestheticβtheyβre oxygen.
And now, weβre making it official.
Dave is joining me as a collaborator on my upcoming book, Talk Dirty to Your Brain.
Because if Iβm going to write a book that reprograms your inner dialogue, I want the interruptions to sound like him.
Between chapters, his affirmations will break the tension and say what weβre all thinking:
βTry your best. It wonβt be good enough, but still. Try.β
Thatβs the kind of honesty that lands.
That rewires.
That sticks.
βΈ»
Right now, Daveβs voice is literally everywhere.
Heβs part of the Shot of Levity campaign, splashing his affirmations across 5,000 limited-edition coffee sleeves at some of NYCβs most iconic shopsβCafΓ© Grumpy, The Bean, and Peteyβs World.
Heβs turning sarcasm into street art.
Therapy into public consumption.
Mental health into something you actually want to talk about over espresso.
And itβs working.
Because for millions of people, Dave is a mirror.
Not the kind you pose in front ofβthe kind you accidentally catch yourself in when youβre falling apart.
And it says:
βYouβre not the only one. Youβre just the only one being honest about it.β
βΈ»
I believe in Daveβs voice so deeply, I asked him to co-create with me.
Not just for the memes.
For the mission.
Because Talk Dirty to Your Brain isnβt about self-improvement. Itβs about self-actualization.
Itβs about burning the scripts that told you to shrink, smile, and self-abandon in the name of βpositivity.β
Itβs about reclaiming your power through language that sounds like youβnot your therapist.
And Dave?
Heβs fluent in the dialect of disillusionment.
But make no mistakeβthereβs love in it.
Thereβs safety in the humor.
Thereβs depth in the disappointment.
Because underneath it all is someone telling you the truth youβve been too exhausted to say out loud:
Youβre still here. And thatβs enough
This space is for the unpolished.
Email me. DM me. Tell me whatβs behind your mirror.
You just might be next.
Backgrounders:
FYI: My book: Talk dirty to your brain backgroundΒ
Talk Dirty to Your Brain is my upcoming behavioral-science-based book that rewires how we speak to ourselves but shares it in everyday language.Β
Itβs about stripping away the fake positivity and weaponized wellness thatβs flooded self-help and replacing it with truth-telling thatβs grounded in science, transformation, and humor.Β
Itβs raw, relatable, and irreverentβbut backed by real psychology, emotional patterning, and neural rewiring. Itβs not about toxic positivity.Β
Itβs about using real, resonant language to shift identity and emotional behavior in ways that last.
The book is layered with stories, insight, and a disruptive voice that speaks directly to the subconscious.Β
And Dave Tarnowski is joining me as a collaborator by providing his signature Disappointing Affirmations between chaptersβserving as the darkly funny antidote to the fake motivation so many people have been force-fed.

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